#8: Good With Kids

Expanded Viander
#8 - Good With Kids
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~Written by Xenny Diemes~
~Characters (c) 2011-2012 Their Creators
This story contains content that may be unsuitable for younger readers. Therefore it is advised that it's not suitable for those under the age of 18 or those who don't want to read material of this content.
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How does the world see the child? Many would see it as the leap into the next generation. Often the bundle in their eyes to the little annoyances that scream, complain and don't listen to you in order to get their way. No matter how you see it, the child will always be there in the world for better and for worse. For the trickster, they are often the most vulnerable of targets because of their lack of comprehension and their art to play into their immeasurable desires will always spells big trouble for them. Launa isn't any different, at least when she was in her evil phase in her life. Today, she has changed, taking on a new approach to the youngest of the mortals being that she too is a kid-at-heart. She doesn't let the powerful, inhuman exterior frighten them for as far as the kids know, Launa is just an overgrown, talking cat.

She has been around the bend with kids even with the ever-shifting climate of how the adults and the world take them to. She's one of the few people that doesn't believe that kids are stupid (at least not to their faces), but believes that they deserve to get a taste of the real world without having it blown up in their faces. And most of the time, have a blast while doing it. And other times they deserve at least a taste of the good life, complements of the trickster herself. It's often rare she does commit ill-will to the kids but in these three stories, it shows at least the lighter side of her activities.


1. Birthday Clown

In a nice cottage home out in the British countryside,  Lacey Tanner is about to have her 10th birthday today and her mother just called for some good party entertainment. It's just a simple magic birthday clown and Lacey being been an avid lover of the circus for many years saves her mother the trouble of dealing with the child having to be afraid of them. But that moment of calm was about to be shattered for Lacey's mother when the agency shelled out the great Bippo The Clown. Many days ago, Mrs. Tanner went to a party entertainment agency to pick out a performer for Lacey's party and there was a very good lineup but one stood out from the rest and it was the grand poster of the guy they called "Bippo The Clown". The man at the agency rambled on at how good he is with all the kids for years and is very popular. The good words about him convinces Mrs. Tanner to put her money on booking Bippo for August when Lacey's birthday comes up.

The boss is delighted and books Bippo for Saturday afternoon and leaves knowing that things will be alright for his party. Which leads  to the day of the party when the guests and presents have arrived, Lacey's little friends and their parents filled the backyard and the best music and games are set up. The Tannens are worried however that the entertainment did not get here yet. Out of nowhere a loud bang is heard from the other side of the house that made the crowd jump thinking it was a gunshot, but really it was the shoddy engine of a van rolling into the driveway. Out of the van is a dead squeak and a horrid showing of professionalism in a nutshell. Holding nothing but a dirty bag and bottle of scotch in the other, the ragged figure walks up to the Tanners doorstep and rings the bell. The moment the Tanners saw who was at the door, they could now only hope for the best that his act is as good as his appearance.

The little audience gathers around the shaded tree and await for the entertainment to finally arrive. And did they get it. He was wearing, a stained clown suit, a wig that hasn't been washed for weeks, if not months, his face was hairy with a messed up beard and his gut was hanging out through the split of his suit. It is here that he announced himself as Bippo the clown. As the audience is dumbstruck, Mr Tanner talks with his wife of where did she get this booze-scented freak. Her explanation was clear enough. However he was the one who recommended the agency to her to pick up that drunkard. As the two looked outside, Bippo's performance was horrible beyond comprehension. His brand of balloon animals were so badly made, they popped in the most important parts to make the kids want to cry for the lack of any real appearance. The jokes were so lousy even the adults know he royally sucked that it would be a waste of time to heckle. Taking a hard swig from his bottle of scotch, Bippo knows he's given up on these ungrateful cretins. The years of horrific realization of him never making it beyond birthday parties have resigned him to the state that he's in.

Drinking more past the point where he is ready to piss in his raggedy clown suit the kids already began to throw whatever they can at Bippo in utter disgust, Bippo grew furious at the kids, before he can drop an f-bomb a long, furry tail came out from the top of the trees, wrapped itself around Bippo's ankle and pulled. Bippo gets swept off his feet and face plants himself into the grass. This of course got a good laugh and a sense of recovery from Lacey's parents but who did that was whole other story. Bippo, royally pissed gets up and looks around wondering if the kids did this. A voice from the air answered to him that it was her that tripped him up because in her own frank tone, she didn't really like how he acted towards the kids and more likely should be ashamed to call himself a clown. Bippo, still disillusioned in his former glory angrily demands who would dare talk to him like that.

Leaping off the tree branch to land perfectly on her feet, woman behind the voice stands tall. Towering over everyone including the pathetic drunkard clown. Before a single scream could be made, Launa raised her hands and calmly gets everyone to calm down and deal with what is in front of them. Turning her attention on Bippo, she scolds the drunkard for his terrible lack of enthusiasm and loveless feelings aimed at the children for his own shortcomings. Bippo wanted to say something but Launa cuts him off and furiously orders him to step aside so she can show him how a professional does it, not before silently calling him a pervert under her breath because he was mostly staring at her chest the whole time. After the initial introductions and the assurance that she is not going to hurt anyone but loves the opportunity to entertain the children on Lacey's special day, Launa begins her own birthday show for Lacey. Children and their parents, wowed, screamed in shock and awe at what Launa became the centerpiece for "Launa's Ridiculously Stupid Birthday Show".

The masterpiece of her intro is the 60-second juggling act. Where by her request, the audience counts down from the last ten while she juggles stuff. Seemingly normal, unless you add a flaming, survival knife inserted bowling ball balanced on the top of her head, standing on two chairs stacked one on top of another tossing a chain saw, battle axe and a large cactus all at the same time while making funny faces and holding sparklers in her mouth. This was showing off to the extreme but the kids didn't care, they loved it! All the while Bippo takes a hard swig angrily tossing it to Launa hoping to knock that upstaging bitch from her pedestal. But in a split second did a spinning kick-flip to kick the bottle off and sends it smashing into his face. falling backwards onto the ground, Believing it just all part of the act, the kids cheered on, so wanting more to which Launa happily does. The trickster's brand of real magic and skill can put any illusionist to shame to which Bippo, still moaning from the pieces of glass of the bottle is already experiencing.

Meanwhile, one of the guests parents talked with the Mr. Tanner and tells him that the giant woman performing looked really familiar. In fact, without the tight leather suit and just thinking of her with fiery red hair, she actually looks like Dark Kat's own mascot Cybelle. Surprised, he looks to his wife and pointed out that it's Cybelle actually at their daughter's party. They would know this because years ago, they gone out to see her in one of her shows just to get as part of their wedding anniversary and the simile is uncanny. Seeing her now was no different from how she acts around her younger fans after the show. Even after performing the most dangerous stunts she still has time to sign autographs and never left anyone empty-handed. Meanwhile the audience counts down to the final ten as Launa gets a bit tired and stressed at least that what she makes them think that and leaping from the chairs, she lands on the ground grabbing the battle axe, daggers and chain saw, perfectly and taking a bow as the kids and Lacey cheered on. but there was the missing cactus which she didn't grab and worries it might fall somewhere it shouldn't be. Bippo comes out of her bottle-smacked coma or screams as the cactus lands on his ass.

The kids laughed on as Bippo runs around with the cactus in his ass as he painfully rips it off and plucks out the needles. As he angrily takes a shot at the Tanners for this misdeed, Launa has a word with her little audience including Lacey who she seemed very nice girl to talk to and then puts the conversational icing on the cake with the old money behind the ear trick but instead of a measly coin, Launa pulled out a real Spanish doubloon telling the birthday girl "Well, looks like someone's college fund is paid off, don't spend it all in one place kid." Meanwhile, Bippo gets up and is really pissed off at this upstaging, having finally had it, he runs to the cake and snatches a cake knife from the table. Shoving kids and adults out of the way. Bippo angrily shouts at Launa telling her that he will get his fame back even if it kills him or her. Launa smiles and magically materializes a red cape.

The children laughs and Bippo gets even angrier from her mocking him. Gripping the cake knife tight while Launa shouts "Toro! Toro! Loser!" is enough to set him off and charges at full speed at Launa. Bippo's rage turned into lust to kill the inhuman upstart for finally taking his glory away but Launa knows from reading his soul that it was nothing but greed and hubris and failure to see the real world is what got him into this mess, she was just acting as an opportunistic executioner, a remnant of her once cruel self. Seconds before Bippo can throw the cake knife down into what should have been her torso, the cape was lifted and suddenly gets hit head on by over three tons of bull. Thrown several feet into the air and crashing face first again into the dirty ground, Bippo slowly discovers that he isn't in the English countryside anymore, but a ring somewhere in Spain.

Surrounded by cheering crowds and panicking staff were the least of his problems, the huge bull is still riled up and only has the clown it its sights. Running for dear life the bull is ready to gore and kill the intruder. While back in England, everything's peachy as Launa gets the cheers she loved to hear just for pulling a incredible disappearing act. Launa asks Lacey of where the clown went, jokingly pointing to other places, Lacey had guessed that it was from the cape and Launa happily accepts that as an answer. Holding up the cape, she counted to three and instantly both the clown and the bull came out the back end and crashed through the fence. Running around in a panic being chased by thousands of pounds of beef. Going around the house to escape the beast, he jumps in his shoddy car and drives off in a flash as fast as he can until he was too far of reach of the bull to catch up.

Launa showed up with a few of the kids accidentally following behind her, The bull turned around and readies itself to charge back at her. The kids behind her screamed and ran back into the house only to turn around and as the bull charged at full speed but Launa charged back with the red cape in her hand, though they can't hear her yelled-out words, Launa is casting her spell seconds before impact flying the cape, the bull passed through it and vanished into thin air. Launa tripped a bit but her acrobatic skills made the landing look like it was intentional. After making the three-point landing on the street she got back up and looked back fearing she might have taken it too far but to the kids hiding from the plate glass window they all cheered and whaled including Lacey herself.

Minutes after the chase out, Lacey's time has come. Surrounded by her friends and family they sing Happy Birthday welcoming the girl on to the next year of her life. All the while Launa stood in the sidelines, not because of shyness or anything but that feeling she didn't really belong there even if it was to feed her hunger of destroying washed-up clowns. As the children play, Launa in her towering self, talks to the Tanners promising to pay for the damages for the fence and hope that she didn't do too much damage. Mrs Tanner was relieved because she really hoped for a legend to make Lacey's day special but would have been a disaster if she had not showed up. Launa subsides and tells Mrs. Tanner in her attempt at modesty that it was no problem at all shock came when Launa had to confess that she isn't from the agency or as Mr. Tanner believed, as of Dark Kat Team as Cybelle, jumping right into lying. Letting them know that 'she's her sister'.  A small hand tugged on her long boot, looking down, Launa finds Lacey holding up a big slice of her birthday cake. Bending down to Lacey's level, she gets the cake and a kiss on the cheek as her thanks for making it the best birthday show ever.

The Tanner's are willing to pay up but Launa just let them have it on her, it was all she can do for making a girl's special day better. Launa decides to walk the rest of the way of wherever she was going while eating her slice. The sensual taste of chocolate-vanilla made it all seem worth it. A year later the Tannens are all together in their first out-of-country vacation ever to the lovely beaches of the French Rivera. Thanks to the money they got off the value of the doubloon with enough to secure a nest egg and a college fund for Lacey. Things have been well for the Tanners, As for Bippo, he was fired from the agency as the embarrassment of the Tanner party and his ridiculous story to ultimately drink himself into being a missing persons case. According to police reports, he was last seen somewhere in Leeds when a 'tall, dark figure' came by and that was all was left. No one knows where he ended up except for a certain big black cat.


2. The Legend of Sir Talbot the Brave.

It is a nice day at the park where the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the sounds of a plank breaking in two by the hands of the local bully, picking on a small kid who was just playing by himself as a knight. Peter is a very imaginative boy who loved the times of old, commonly depicted in fantasies and fairy tales, unfortunately for the eight-year old, that doesn't seem to be the case for him for that makes him a constant target for bullies who believed the modern themes of the world are the more awesome and his are just childish in nature. Old news really. But the lead bully Harry tells Peter that he really should stop playing baby games.

After bawling his eyes out and tossing his broken sword to the ground, Peter takes solace in going to the swings by himself thinking that maybe that it really is childish to play the brave knight, looking at the broken sword, he feels that all hope to play again is lost. Until the pieces glowed in a blue light and lifted off the ground right before his eyes. The pieces joined back together and drifted across him watching it as it enter the leather-gloved hands of a different person. Looking up, Peter sees the gigantic figure staring down at him through those rose red tea shades. Before being ready to run, the large woman tells Peter she has no intention of hurting him in any way, just showing concern of the matter. Peter suddenly calm and is handed back his sword, fully restored Looking up at the woman, he asks of who and what is she. After the usual introductions with a supple bow to the young gentleman, Launa asks of what is wrong and with full detail. Tempted to teach those bullies a lesson, the cause of it calls for her to set something straight with Peter.

Offering to push him on the swing for a while, Launa tells a little story about a young squire who defended his kingdom from an evil witch who wanted to steal a great empowered jewel that has been the sight in her eyes for years. The problem lies on the squire who has been constantly struggling to be the equal of his peers. When Peter asks of who this squire is, Launa replied of his name being Talbot, Talbot the Brave and Launa talks on. Talbot one day was left in charge to protect the jewel from thieves and witches about. The evil witch has come in and undermine the defense measures of the castle but Talbot has increasingly managed to stop her time and time again but for every time he saves the castle from being robbed, his superiors burn him for not doing a good job or even lying about the witch attacking the castle.

Launa tells Pete that unlike his situation, Talbot was the subject of being bullied by the people he looked up to but like Peter's, the told the poor squire that he's not anywhere near great material for being a Knight at all and should just be better off as a peasant. Pete can already feel the similarities. Talbot couldn't take it anymore one night after the last raid but not by the witch but by a rival faction miles away, the Knights have dishonourably removed Talbot of his title and threw him out. This left the witch fully open for an attack which she took and bound all of the brave and mighty knights who had never once gained experience in how to handle with supernatural beings such as the witch. Taking the powerful jewel she will use it to make her unstoppable. But her plans would have succeeded if Talbot had not come back.

Peter gets really excited at the part where there as a chase across the land eventually leading to epic battle where she used the jewel to fight Talbot but his cunning and experience thanks in part to the Witch's constant invasion. He successfully defeats the witch and frees his fellow knights. His due diligence did earn him a rightful place among them but he turned it down and became a willing do-gooder in his own right. Fighting against supernatural and evil forces that try to hurt the innocent alike. Peter really loved that story and its hero. Launa later tells him he did eventually became a knight under a new kingdom and served well all the way to the end. When Pete asks of what happened to the Evil Witch that tried to steal the jewel of power. The answer:

"Well, that evil witch survived, continued to do more chaos and evil along the way, However she went through a series of transformations in her life that turned her from vile villainess into the the woman that is sitting next to you right... now."

Peter on alert pulls his wooden sword aiming it straight at Launa "Stay back!" Pete says and with her clawed finger pushes the wooden sword down while giggling. "Don't you look so cute" Says Launa. "Y...Y...You're the evil witch Talbot tried to stop and now you're after something from me!". That only made Launa laugh. "Though that sounds tempting, I would never do such a thing. Like I said before Peter, I have changed a lot since. I'm not the evil witch that I once was and my experience with Sir Talbot would hope to be an uplifting story for you when dealing with those assholes. Unless you want me to." Realizing this he was somewhat inspired in that story that is just like him. The following day, Pete is playing knight again when the bullies showed up and dared him not to play a baby game anymore. With the wooden sword in hand he came at them, the end result is that the bullies never bothered him again. He was brave like Sir Talbot difference is that there was no evil witch making his life hell, just jerks who he didn't have to put up anymore.


3. Every Fall Till The End

2014, on the 23rd of September. Launa arrives at an old folks home with flowers in hand totally unnoticeable to the staff dashing about around. That is except for an old woman in her wheelchair sitting outside while looking at the sunset. Her children have already left because visiting hours were over and can't stay in what could be the last day of her life.  The doctors say she's already suffering from dementia, the woman is lucky to get some of her family's own names right upon arrival. Launa places the flowers next to her and sits down with legs crossed. The old woman looked up at Launa and utters only one word. "Kitty" which was the first word she once referred to Launa ninety-eight years ago.

1925, the world is still settling from the sting of World War I and A young girl was playing out in the woods by herself in defiance of her parents constantly telling her not to go deep in the forest. But for Young Abbie her wants for exploration were too great to be stopped by mere wisdom. But that ended when she stepped too far close in a ravine and falls close to her death, or that would be until a hand grabbed her ankle seconds before she hit the ground. Pulling her up while still upside-down Abbie is the first to come face to face with the woman who will be her friend, her guardian, her protector for the time of her life. Despite her own life, every solstice day, is the time little girl and the Trickster Goddess share their times together as the years go on and on.

Launa understands that she can not be in every aspect of her life. When Abbie moved away from their meeting place every first day of fall, it was for the best. People need to cope when they need to move on, Launa can only wonder how well she has grown into a mature woman that can go on without her guardian for new ones will take her place. One night while she was sleeping, her tall ears perked from their folded positions and twist hear the sounds of the screaming and crying of a woman being battered by a monster, that battered woman is Abbie. Hoping it was just a nightmare, Launa immediately wakes up but her cries still echo in her ears this was not an illusion made by her enemies or her going crazy, it is really Abbie crying for help. Launa didn't stop as she ports herself to the source. In the house, Abbie is being beaten by her new husband over the stupid matter of a poorly-made sandwich and she fears that this mistake will be her last. Her husband raises his fists to deliver the final blow, Launa grabs the husband's wrist and picks up the man up to her face. Letting out a frightening hiss, Launa delivered several blows and a hard roundhouse kick that sends him flying out of the house and crash on the front yard.

When he tries to come back, Launa came out daring him to do so. If his wish is for him to hit a woman, then he is more than free to take a shot at her. Though definitely is sure he won't survive when she hits back. He gets up and runs into the darkness, never to be seen again. After that passed, Launa turned to Abbie cowering in a corner holding her arms around herself just to shield herself further. Launa wanted to come close but Abbie screams to keep away. Her loud voice and stuttered tone was still locked onto her bastard of a husband. Launa needs a way to get to Abbie that she's here now and makes a move. Launa kneels down slides up as close as she can and pulls the woman in her arms tight so she will not escape. Abbie screams and struggles, her flailing arms and fists hit the catwoman's face and neck. Launa will not let go of her until she exhausts herself out of her struggling tantrum. Abbie knew it was no use to fight anymore knowing it was still her husband, the so-called love of just a year want his power over her. After Abbie finally lets it all out, she looks down and sees herself wrapped in the strong powerful, pelt-covered arms of someone familiar. Looking up with tear-filled eyes, she sees Launa with her head bowed down, the silvery-white hair covering her own waterlogged eyes, still silent the whole time while Abbie was flailing out of control.

Abbie thought it was her husband again coming for more but it was not him, it was her long lost guardian Launa. In her attempt to get her out of her mental state for she was battered long before she came in. A marriage that was supposed to be a happy beginning ended with abuse and desecration of the self. Launa could only hear her cries at the peak when things were about to seriously take a turn for the worst but it passed and a part of the night with the two of them held in each other's arms. Abbie got her strength back in time the Second World War reached its peak where she managed to take care of herself serving her country while Launa did what she can to save her adopted culture from the Nazi Regime at the cost of her own livelihood. Abbie after the war takes the time to see the world that has changed when the dust had settled and her numerous adventures and sights were wonders to remember.

Eventually, Abbie did settle down with a new husband but this time is treated right. They got married, had children and those children grew through the remaining decades. Sometimes even Launa serving as a really 'creative' baby-sitter to the grand kids. Time rolls on and Launa's role in Abbie's life has come and gone like the waves of the ocean but never too fear out of reach no matter how chaotic the trickster's life became. Now fourteen years into the 21st century, Abbie is halfway in her 98th year of her life and the children of her children gathered around her as her mind slowly deteriorates. Only remembering scant details of her past life, some pieces of her awful first marriage are best gone but others also took the unfortunate erasure. As the sun slowly sets between the two of them Abbie in her muddled speech recalls the very day they first met back in 1925 when she not heeded her parent's warnings and fell into that ravine.

As Launa welcomed Abbie to pet her fur for comfort like she would on a normal cat, Abbie talks on. Recalling the time she saved her from death from her curiosity. Abbie is forever in her debt for saving her life. Launa countered those words, for she claims that so-called debt was already paid by simply living, that and she's never expected to be 'paid back' for her bits of heroism. Abbie grew afraid as the sunset gives its last beam of light and asks her to hold her hand and Launa smiled softly and held Abbie's hand as the sun gave its final light over the two. Abbie knows she had a great life, made that way with the help of her friend, her guardian, her protector and now the last person she'll see at the end of her life only with a 'thank you' as her final words. Launa held her hand for a bit longer before she let go of her hand and reached for the alarm for the nurses to tend to her. The trickster walks down the hallway looking back at the window where the now passed away Abbie is being taken care of she looks back to say. "You're Welcome, Kid..." as she leaves for the exit.